You Win…A New Car! (Really!)

This week, I’ve been rolling down a rowdy river of abundance, and so I decided it was time to stop and take roll call on the gratefulness gravy train, and pay it forward…by sharing it with you.

Please excuse me, because I think I’m about to start sounding like an overzealous car salesman here. I can’t help but overuse exclamation points – looking back at the last couple weeks, I really have to be exuberantly thankful, which requires prolific use of exclamation points and capitalization!

In the last two weeks…

I was GIVEN a new car at a fraction of the cost of my old one!
I was GIVEN hundreds of dollars worth of free groceries, and coupons for more!
My utility bills were paid in full for this month and next!
I received a new cell phone I needed (because my son keeps taking my phones for swims) for FREE.
I was GIVEN a shopping spree for my entire family.
And, this is just the tip of the iceberg!

I highly recommend this book. I hope I don't sound too pentecostally charismatic when I say, IT HAS CHANGED MY LIFE! It has, really!

I have been reading (and re-reading) Catherine Ponder’s “Open Your Mind to Receive,” a gift from a dear friend who attributes a great deal of her success to this book.

Two of the main principles I’ve been practicing are:

1. Release your attachment to people, places and stuff and,
2. Giving is the first step to receiving. (We’ll discuss this one more in a later post.)

I’d like to tell you about how powerful the art of release has been in my life, as it’s been a sort of a “piano practice” for me these last few years in the midst of the throws of this lovely Recession.

“The act of release is one of your most effective forms of opening your mind to receive. [It] frees you from tightness, tension, and grasping…[and] helps you to become an open, receptive channel through which the intelligence of the Universe can flow to you…”
~Open Your Mind to Receive, pg. 26

Since I started reading this book, I’ve been practicing my own abridged version of one of her suggested affirmations.

I release my attachment to all people, places and things of the past or present. I manifest my true place with true prosperity now.

At first the idea of saying such a thing sounded absolutely ludicrous and outlandish to me. I started into this section of the book thinking, “I’m a perfectly content self-confessed co-dependent! I don’t want to release anything!”

But, then my dear friend, RECESSION came along and, like it or not, he started bush-whacking these lovely lessons on the art of releasing into me.

I used to hold on to my stuff, my people, and my little Linus’ blanket of materialistic paraphernalia I thought life and happiness required of me, so tightly, I nearly killed myself trying to grip it all as it slipped away.

It's just STUFF! Release and receive, release and receive!

When I started releasing, and releasing some more, and then a little more, I discovered a priceless gift this insidious friend, Recession, had given. That gift was freedom.

Remember? “The act of release frees you from tightness, tension and grasping.”

Oh the things I have released now! Homes, cars, jobs, people, places – you name it!

Catherine Ponder goes on to explain that this act of release frees us from negativity. I can see that now – because I no longer feel imprisoned by an attachment to people, places or things. If it’s not working for me anymore – if it’d serve me better to release it, sell it, give it away, or let it go in some way – I happily proceed forward. Here’s why:

“Elimination of something from your life is always an indication that something better is on the way.”

I could throw out countless stories to illustrate this point in my life (ah yes, that’s what the book I’m writing is for!). For now, I’ll just share my one most amazing recent illustration.

A few weeks back, I was imprisoned by a car payment that was no longer serving me, for a car that needed new tires, brakes, and maintenance I couldn’t give it. I’ve been repeating this affirmation daily:

I am now receiving. I am receiving now. I am receiving all the abundance the Universe has for me now.

But one day, as I was driving said maintenance-challenged SUV, I just looked up at the sky and made my request a little more direct:

“This car needs work, Universe! Ok, I’m trusting (insert gritting teeth here) that I am already receiving all the things I need for this car. So there!”

And, yes, I did stick my nose up at the sky with confidence at that last part!

In making this rather direct request, I tried to keep my mind open, just as Ponder suggests, to receive in any way possible, not just the ways I could foresee.

TWO WEEKS later, I RECEIVED a phone call out of the blue, offering me a car at a fraction of the cost of my car!

At first, I laughed at the sky, for fulfilling my request in a way I could not have foreseen. Then, I found out this new car had brand new versions of everything I’d been lacking in the old one – brakes, tires, etc. I knew it was the Universe replying – ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE, my dear!

Bye, bye, old car!
(Not that's not really my old car, stalkers! Just trying to illustrate the point!)

To receive the new income, I had to release my old car, and any ideas I had about what kind of a car I wanted. Then, I got something, “BETTER!”

“Better” is not always, bigger, grander, more expensive or wonderfully ridiculous. Sometimes “better” is “smaller and more affordable.” “Better” may serve my heart more then my pocketbook, or serve my pocketbook more then my ego!

The art of release can be a painful one sometimes, but only when we try to grasp the things we need to release. If we are willing to open our minds to receive, and release our limitations and expectations on how exactly we should receive, we create an open channel for abundance to flow into our lives.

So, hop aboard your own gratefulness gravy train – grasp everything in your life as tightly as sand slipping through your fingers, and watch your “income” turn from a fight to a flow.

Let go, release, and receive! I dare you to try it!

(And to that special anonymous car-donor – you know who you are – thank you for sharing your abundance! You’ve got great car-ma comin’ your way. Sorry, couldn’t resist the pun.)

P.S. I’m compiling some first-hand testimonials on the Release and Receive concept and how it’s worked for others. Do you have a story you could share? Have you released, and received something unexpected? Leave a comment below, and your story might be featured in a future episode of the Gratefulness Gravy Train!

And The World Spins Madly On…

This is a true story that was shared with me recently. I have omitted last names to respect the family’s privacy, and re-written  to the best of my memory in the stunning of hearing such a moving story. 

Cathy’s husband Gary was one of our twelve. The twelve deaths in three years, I mean. He was like a second Dad to us in many ways. We always felt like part of their family.

Gary was a tall man with piercing blue eyes, a salt and pepper beard, a sort of Sean Connery, get’s better lookin’ as they age kind of handsome. It was the light and the kindness in his eyes that met you first, though – drew you into his, made you feel like family.

When he was diagnosed with Stomach Cancer, I believe it was right around his 50th year. His oldest son was having kids, his youngest was off to College. He told the family of the disease, but never told them, it was terminal. 

He fought it for about a year and a half before he finally passed away, leaving behind his beloved wife Cathy, three children, two grand-children, and a few more “adopted” kids like me.

It’s been almost two years since he  passed.

One day, Cathy was at work and was introduced to a man and a woman. Within seconds of meeting them, the woman stopped the flow of conversation, looked Cathy square in the eye, and said, “I’m so sorry for your loss.” Cathy had never met this woman. She went on to tell Cathy she was clairvoyant, and continued, “I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. He wants you to know he’s with you now, and always. He’s standing behind you, he’s tall, very handsome, has a salt and pepper beard, and piercing blue eyes.”

Cathy’s disbelief turned to faith, as she continued to listen to this woman describe her husband perfectly.

A few minutes later, Cathy’s son walked up, and without introducing him, the woman stood up, shook his hand, and said, “And you, I’m so sorry for your loss, too.” 

As they began talking, she said to Cathy’s son, “I know the hardest thing for you, in losing your Dad, was wishing he could’ve seen your kids grow up.” Danny has two kids, a boy, age 6, and a little girl, age 3. He began to cry as the woman spoke, for it was truly his heart’s deepest ache that his Dad did not live to watch his grandchildren play and grow up.

The woman saw the tears in Danny’s eyes and continued, “He wants you to know, he is here! He watches your kids play all the time! In fact, his favorite spot to hang out is in your living room. He loves to sit in the red velvet chair and watch them play, every day!”

Danny began to weep. Yes, there is a red velvet chair in his living room, right where his kids play every day.

A week later, he was on the floor playing with his daughter and snapped a photo of her on his phone. When he went to look at the picture, he saw something amazing. A giant orb hovering over the red velvet chair watching over his daughter.

The woman finished her conversation with Cathy with a request. “Your husband says there’s something he wants you to do for yourself, something that he used to do for you, and you haven’t done since he passed. Can you think of what it might be?”

Cathy thought hard, but couldn’t come up with an answer. She was still taken aback by this experience, and overjoyed to feel the presence of her husband again.

The woman said, “Well, I’m going to come back in a couple days and ask you. You think hard, and let me know if you figure it out.”

A few days passed, and Cathy wracked her brain incessantly, trying to come up with the answer. What was her husband trying to tell her from beyond the grave? Surely, it was something important! And, if it was so important, why couldn’t she figure it out?!

When Cathy saw the woman again, she asked immediately, “Did you figure it out?” Cathy looked bewildered, “No, I wracked my brain and I just couldn’t figure it out!”

The woman chuckled, “Do you remember how every night before bed Gary would shine your shoes? He wants you to shine your shoes again. You haven’t done it since he left. He wants you to know, it’s o.k., and he’d really like it if you’d do that for him again.”

Cathy began to cry and laugh, all at once. She hadn’t even touched Gary’s side of the closet since he passed, and she hadn’t thought of him shining her shoes, either. But yes, he had done that every night before bed – a little ritual for her. He’d leave them on her side of the closet, ready and waiting for the next morning – a gift for her to start her day.

Cathy and her son may never have believed in angels before, but they sure do now. 

(Thank you to Cathy and her son for giving me permission to share this story here, in hopes it will speak to others.)

This story is a testament to the truth, that our loved ones never really leave us. They simply change forms. I feel my Grandmother’s presence more strongly now then I did when she was alive, and now she’s not so cranky anymore! Tonight, watching this video below, I felt my nephew’s presence strongly again, in a way I haven’t felt in so long. We’ll be coming on up 10 years since his passing soon, but it still feels like yesterday. It’s hard, though, because he wasn’t even three, our time together was so brief, my memories have faded and I often have to reach deeply into the recesses of my mind to pull up the feeling of his soul around me again. I think, though, that I just forget how close he is, really, all the time, and watching something like this reminds me. 

So, for you…a gift…for anyone who has ever lost someone they loved. 

The World Spins Madly Round

This video is for Cathy and Gary, Joy Plastid and the memory of her husband, for everyone here who has lost someone they loved, and in memory of my angels before me. 

Now to finish, one more beautiful thing that was shared with me recently, from beyond…

Megan,
I received this message from “the Universe” soon after my husband’s best friend and our best man committed suicide last year. I pulled it back up recently to comfort myself as the anniversary of his death approaches. Thought I would share it with you.
I especially love the last line, #10, kinda what you have been saying too!

The top 10 things dead people want to tell living people are:

1. They’re not dead.
2. They’re sorry for any pain they caused.
3. There’s no such thing as a devil or hell.
4. They were ready to go when they went.
5. You’re not ready.
6. They finally understand what they were missing.
7. Nothing can prepare you for the beauty of the moment you arrive.
8. Don’t try to understand this now, but life is exceedingly fair.
9. Your pets are as crazy, brilliant and loving, here, as they were there.
10. Life really is all about love, but not just loving those who love you…

In their own words,
The Universe

This Year I Gave Time for Christmas

“Guest Perspective” Published in the Sedona Red Rock News 1-11-12

This year, I knew we weren’t going to have a spend-crazy Christmas. My husband and I worked out a modest budget, and decided it was best spent on making the holiday memorable for our kids which meant no gifts for the other forty-two family members.

At first I felt sorry for myself. But, after I tore up the letter I started to the President, demanding he abolish Christmas because it’s just a bunch of meaningless hype, I stopped and asked myself a question.

What does Christmas mean to me?

I forced myself to think back through all the Christmas’ I have celebrated to see if I could even remember any of the gifts I received.

I remembered the tie-died t-shirt dress my Dad gave me when I was seven because it was the first gift he actually picked out for me himself, without my Mom’s help. I remembered the iPOD my husband gave me one year, and the diamond necklace – but not because they were expensive, because he put thought into picking them.

I really couldn’t remember too many kitchen gadgets, knick knacks, CDs, stereos or scarves.

Just like Scrooge, my reflection on ghosts of Christmas’ past gave me an epiphany. An old saying I once heard put it best, “The greatest things in life are the people we love, the places we see, and the memories we make.”

For me, drinking Scandinavian wassail with my grandparents, making gingerbread houses with my nieces, or bundling up for a stroll through Red Rock Fantasy all together, are the things I remember best about Christmas.

So, I decided to give a different sort of gift this year. 

The most priceless gift of all. 

Time.

After twelve deaths in our family in three years, I’ve learned the value of such a simple thing as time with my loved ones.

So, I thought carefully about a memory I would like to create with each person and I offered that idea in a small card I gave each one.

My great-Aunt, Dollie, choked back tears when she read that I wanted to spend an afternoon with her sharing our memoirs. I was surprised. It sounded like such a simple thing to give her, but it was the only gift that made her cry. (I have a feeling the super-scrubbing “As Seen on TV” car-washing brush I would’ve gotten her, probably wouldn’t have had the same impact).

When my Mom read her card, she started to cry, too, when I told her how much we appreciate all she does for our family. She said, “Not a lot of people tell me how much they appreciate me. That was the greatest gift you could give me.”

This was the most simple and humble Christmas I’ve ever celebrated, but the gift of time proved to be the best gift I’ve ever given, or received. I had a houseful of people, a huge feast of food (Christmas potluck!), a storm on the stockings by a bunch of happy kiddos Christmas morning, and time with my family that I could never put a price tag on.

Be A River, Not a Dam

I’m not usually one to “create stories.” I believe that every story can be told many different ways. We make a choice with every word we speak, every thought we think, to create a “good” story or a “bad” story out of our lives, our current circumstances, our “dramas”.

These stories often create suffering for us, because our perceptions are incorrect. We have ideas about what is good and bad, based on what society tells us, what our parents told us as children, and what we tell ourselves every day.

We think success looks a certain way, and so we fight to create a certain picture of it in our lives, which creates a fight…a struggle…for everything, and a continual feeling of suffering.

You Are A River…

Look at life as though you are a flowing river, simply moving along its course, over rocks, under bridges, around trees. Does the river curse the rocks it meets? No, because they guide it to the ocean or the lake.

The river doesn’t need to be anything other then what it is. It doesn’t need to go anywhere but where it is already going. The river will eventually reach the ocean, but it does not struggle and fight to get there…it goes with the flow.

I find that when I go with the flow of life – instead of trying to be a river flowing up a mountain, pushing towards some perception I have about who I should be -  I experience less suffering. When I reach obstacles, I simply move around them (or at least I try – I’m still re-training myself out of the “life is a struggle” perception I have!).

I used to damn the river and halt the entire abundant, natural flow of life around me to stop and curse that one damn rock that had gotten in my way.

The job loss. The financial challenges. The pay cut. Cancer. The latest death in the family. And even little things like the flu. The backache. The freaking oblivious driver on the road in front of me.

All this did was create constant dissatisfaction. And, it continually disrupted the flow of abundance in my life. How can a river flow to the ocean with one-hundred and forty-six damns along the way?

Don’t Make GOALS?

Thich Nhat Hanh, the great Buddhist teacher, says we should not have GOALS.

What?! Really, we shouldn’t have goals?! But, then how would we ever get anywhere? How would we plan for the future? How would we know we could control the outcome of our lives?!!! 

Trying to control everything in your life is what creates your suffering. You set up your bank accounts, your spreadsheets, your 401k’s, your investments, your vision of what success looks like to you. It’s your STORY of what success looks like.

Then, you find yourself flailing along on the highs and lows each of these come with, and that creates more suffering for you. Every time you feel that things are not going according to your plan, you stop to curse the rocks in the middle of the river.

Releasing control ends suffering. Control is trying to hold onto everything, to influence and manipulate the course of the river. Control is trying to swim upstream. The beauty and “success” of life is already here, happening right now. The beauty of life IS now. It is not something you need to struggle to reach somewhere “out there.”

This isn’t to say we shouldn’t strive for certain things in our lives. But, those “strivings” should also be a flow – a natural expression of who you are, rather then a struggle to try to be something you are not yet.

So, yes, set up your intentions for your life. Spend time reflecting on them every day. Think of them with hope. Speak them naturally and easily to the Universe and to the people you meet.

But, then, Go with the flow.

Rocks are part of the stream.

In fact, they are a necessary part of the stream. Do not curse them. They are simply re-directing you. Follow the direction they are creating. Seek the gifts in every challenge you come upon. Don’t be a victim of the story your misconceptions would have you create, based on ideas that only cause you pain.

Create your own story!  Let go of your ideas of who you NEED to be, and simply be…who you are, now.

Why Can’t We Accept Help?

Life’s greatest question is, “Why are we here?” 

I believe the answer is, “For each other.”

~ Megan Aronson

So, why is it, then, that we have so much trouble accepting help from each other?

My trips to the grocery store used to be all about what I could get, how I could use coupons to get freebies and cheapies, and stretch my dollar further for my family of four. (On average, I save 40% on my grocery bills thanks to my girl Juli over at Bargain Believer).

Then, twice this week, I heard two prominent leaders speak to the true meaning of abundance. Michael Mirdad, a well-known spiritual author, speaker and healer said, “You can’t hold onto anything you have. You have to give it away. The moment you try to hold onto it is the moment you create suffering.” 

In my “poor me” mentality I would have laughed at him – hey buddy, you have no idea what I’m going through, I’m clipping coupons just to save a buck or two at the market!

But, now I’m realizing he’s right. It is our struggle as a society to try to hold onto things that creates so much suffering for us. Think about how much easier your life could be if you had no ideas around what type of car you should drive, home you should live in, clothes you should wear…to appear “successful” to yourself, or others.

I’ve learned this first hand, moving through four homes in the last three years, different cities, and even facing the loss of several loved ones. Trying to hold onto things, people, places – anything for that matter – is what creates my suffering. Giving it all away allows me the freedom of embracing everything with open arms, instead of trying to grasp it like sand slipping through my fingers.

Tom Shadyac also shared a profound demonstration of abundance on this week’s Super Soul Sunday on OWN (Oprah’s network). Shadyac is known as the Director of blockbuster films Ace Ventura, The Nutty Professor and Bruce Almighty. When he made his first fortune, he bought a 17,000 square foot home in Beverly Hills. He moved in and realized that everything society had taught him to value did not in fact create happiness for him. So, he sold his house and moved into a mobile home where he began creating his thought-provoking documentary, “I Am”.

On an episode of Oprah he said, “I never felt right holding onto that much money. I always felt like I should give it away quick.” He spoke with hand gestures mimicking a child playing hot potato, like he could not hold onto that hot money for long, or it would burn him.

So, I went out for my weekly shopping trip this time, and held my coupons loosely even though they feel like my lifeline to abundance right now.

Without intending to, my new-found abundance attitude had me unexpectedly passing my little grail out to strangers. Cruising through the stores, I was like a coupon cart-shopping stalker! I was eyeing other people’s carts looking for items I might have a coupon for and they were eyeing me like a pedophile at the playground when I exclaimed, “Would you like a coupon for that?!” (And, I’m not the first to think of this, a lovely organization out of Mesa, Coupon2Give, shops with coupons then donates their purchases to charities in need.)

I was amazed at how much people DIDN’T want help.

But I remember being there, caught up in my “I must be a self-sufficient island” mentality, or too afraid to accept the kindness of strangers.

Why shouldn’t we help each other?! 

The food we eat wouldn’t be available at the grocery store if there weren’t someone planting it and harvesting it.

The homes we live in would not exist if ten men had not worked together to build them.

So, why shouldn’t we freely give and receive, always, even at the grocery store, the gas station, the restaurant?

Our world is starting to shift from the Age of Consumerism to the Age of Cooperation. Santa’s “Layaway” elves paying off layaway balances before Christmas, “Pay It Forward” menus at restaurants informing guests their bill is already paid, organizations like Meal Train providing meals to families going through a major life transition.

Now, we need to continue to evolve. It’s time to move past simply reaching out to those in crisis and start giving the little things, too, all the time. Give of yourself, give of your time, give of whatever you have to give, even if it’s just listening to a friend who’s going through a tough time. Give it away, and I promise… you will feel RICH! I do!